The Path of Thorns
by 10000PoisonedKisses
Summary: RLSB RLSS fic. Takes place right after book 3. Rated for language, slash, sexual situations and mental torture. Looking into those dark, sunken eyes that had once been so familiar to him, Remus saw only a stranger.
1. Chapter 1

The Path of Thorns

A/N: RL/SB and RL/SS. Story takes place directly after book three. Can Remus and Sirius work through what's happened between them, or will Remus stay with his new lover through it? And is it really love that kept Remus with Severus for so long? Please R&R.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters associated with it.

Warnings: Rated for language, sexual situations, mild abuse. Blah blah. What I always warn for.

Too long. It had been far too long since Remus had set foot in in this house. Now standing in the dusty, rotting hallway with it's rightful owner leaning heavily against the entranceway watching him, Remus felt more than ever that he did not belong. When he turned to meet Sirius' eyes for the first time since the incident in the Shrieking Shack when he'd shifted and completely lost himself, Remus felt a great deal of shame wash over him. By the time he'd regained his senses that horrible night, Sirius had been long gone. It had taken Remus too long weeks to track Sirius down and now, he had nothing to say.

Looking into those dark, sunken eyes that had once been so familiar to him, Remus saw only a stranger. It had been twelve years, he reminded himself. He should have had a million things to say after all this time but as he studied the gaunt face and and skeletal body that had one time been the lithe, muscular one he'd known in the most intimate of ways, he had nothing. Shifting his weight from one foot to the other, Remus tried a smile. When Sirius didn't return it, Remus fell back a step.

Even now, with Sirius within touching distance, Remus struggled to find even a hint of the old emotions he'd once held for the other man. After Lily and James' death, Remus spent far too many months, years even, hardening himself against Sirius. He'd told himself time and time again that Sirius was a Death Eater, a traitor, and a murderer. He spent so much time telling himself that he no longer felt anything for Sirius that he became so familiar with the idea, and he truly started to belive it. Even now that he knew of Sirius' innocence in the whole ordeal and thinking about all the nights he'd spent in Sirius' arms, Remus could not feel as he once had when he was young, naive, and still believed that there was true love in the world.

Finally, Sirius' gruff voice roused Remus from this thoughts, rather violently he might add.

"What do you want, Remus?" the dark haired man asked, moving his thin body away from the wall where he'd been leaning. His movements were jerky, all traces of his past grace gone. Sirius was only 33 years old and already he had the movements and the look of an old man. Not that Remus was much better.

The years had not been kind to Remus and his once tanned skin was now an almost sickly yellow shade. Even his dark blond hair had a few strands of greying locks in it. When Remus had lived at Hogwarts during his schooling his 5'10" frame had been a healthy 160 pounds. However, after Sirius' imprisonment, Remus had dropped 35 pounds in two short months and his health had never fully recovered from it. He wondered if he looked as alien to Sirius as Sirius did to him. After a moment, he spoke.

"I came to see you, Sirius."

"See me..." Sirius murmured. A smile crept onto his face and he shook his head. "That's rich, Remus." Sirius laughed and slipped out of the room and into the living area, out of Remus' view. Unsure of what to do, Remus followed the long haired man and watched as he fell into one of the overstuffed chairs and reclined, eyes closed tightly. A second passed before Sirius spoke again.

"12 years Remus, without so much as a lousy owl and now you want to see me?"

The dark eyes opened and Sirius stared into Remus' own with a look of disgust on his face.

"You really expect me to belive that, Remus? You must be joking. You never even tried to get in contact with me after they took me. After you thought I killed James and Lily. My own best friend Remus. You believed I did it."

To that, Remus had nothing to say. Yes, he did think Sirius had done it. He'd shown the capability to kill all to easily when they were in school, with Severus. It didn't help his case that he was from the Black family and his own brother had openly been a Death Eater before his murder. Remus lowered his gaze with hesitance.

"How could I have seen you, Sirius? You were in the highest security cell they had and I am a werewolf. They'd never have let me in."

"Did you even try, Remus? Did you? Or did you just give up on me so easily?" Sirius asked, standing and moving towards the scarred man. He stopped only inches from the other man, their noses almost touching. Finally, he spoke again, knowing Remus had nothing to say to that.

"I think you need to leave, Remus. Now."

Startled, Remus looked up into the face that was kissably close to his. Fighting the anger and humiliation rising in him, he nodded. As he stepped away from his ex lover, he caught the smell of Sirius' skin in the air and his breath caught in his throat. There was once a time when Remus would have grabbed Sirius, pinning their bodies together in passion when that smell entered his nostrils. Now, he just backed up. At his movement, Sirius too pulled away and began walking towards the front door. Following at least 3 feet behind the dark haired man, Remus watched the thin man's back from beneath his heavily lidded eyes. When Sirius reached the door, he yanked it open violently and turned to stare at the blond man.

"Get out, Remus."

There was something in the way he said the words, but Remus couldn't be sure. He hadn't heard that tone in 12 years and he no longer recognized it. As he stepped outside the house, Remus looked at Sirius, questioning him. Sirius' expression was unreadable to Remus but he was sure there was something there he was missing, although he couldn't name it.

"Sirius... I'm sorry," he said knowing it wasn't nearly enough.

Without answering Sirius shut the door, that strange look still on his face.


	2. Chapter 2

The Path of Thorns

A/N: I am really trying to find a way to weave Severus into this story without him being too overbearing. Sirius will not be in this chapter, so I guess this is really just a peek into what Remus has been doing all the years Sirius was locked up.

Disclaimer: Same as first chapter

Warnings: Same as first chapter.

Laying on his stomach reading from a tattered leather bound book, Remus allowed himself a little joy. It was the summer now so he could open some of the windows in the loft he shared with Severus without it getting too chilly. He enjoyed the fresh air at all times of the year, but Severus had been prone to infections and illness since childhood so Remus was forced to be careful about the temperature of the loft. From down the hall, the scarred listened to the sounds of cloth moving and the kettle whistling. Severus was in the kitchen making them both tea, so that meant it must has been nearing 5 in the afternoon. As a young man, Remus had never had a taste for the bitter drink, but as he grew into adulthood he began to partake it with Severus. It was their routine and something Remus did not what to cease just because he didn't enjoy the hot, bitterness of the drink.

At first, he'd tried putting honey or sugar in it to lighten the taste and make it bearable, but Severus had scolded him, telling him that too much of the sweet things Remus enjoyed were not healthy and so he stopped using them. Now that his taste-buds had grown dull to the bitterness, Remus did not mind. In fact, sometimes as a treat to Remus, Severus would even add a little cream to their cups. As the sounds of moving cloth came closer, Remus looked up at watch the doorway.

As he watched, Remus' thin lover entered, holding two mugs just as Remus had expected. He rolled into a sitting position and shut his book, offering a smile to the man that had been there for him when Sirius had not. The raven maned potions master set the cups down on the dresser near the window and moved to stand in front of Remus so that their knees touched and the fabric of his robes brushed along Remus' slacks. Reaching up, the werewolf wrapped his hands around the hem of the robes and pulled, forcing Severus to bend and meet him halfway for a kiss. When they parted, Severus crawled onto the bed, straddling the other man and Remus felt his breath catch in anticipation.

"Sev, it's only 5 o'clock," Remus breathed, running his hands over the other man's back gently. The feel of the taunt muscles beneath the clothes made Remus smile coyly up at Severus and he paused, tracing circles over the spot on his lovers back that he knew to be the most sensitive.

Severus shuddered against the touch and bent his head. "I don't remember you caring about the time of day before..."

Remus shook his head, his dark blond hair falling away from his face. "I don't, Severus. I was just saying, you brought the tea. It's going to get cold."

"That's a poor excuse, Remus, " the thin man teased, kissing along the hollow part of Remus' neck. "But you're right."

Pulling away from his lover, Severus moved to let the blond up. When Remus was once again sitting, he noticed Severus rubbing his arm in discomfort. He'd known for a while now that the faded mark there had been growing brighter over the past months, but he hadn't noticed the apparent pain it put Severus in. Leaning forward, Remus touched the other man softly on his thigh.

"You alright, Severus?" he asked, worry coloring his voice.

"I'm fine," came th reply in a rather snappish tone. "Just get the damn tea, will you? And close the window. It's chilly in here."

Taken aback by the harness in Severus voice, Remus stood and moved to the window. He breathed in deeply once before shutting it with a snap and collected the mugs, bringing them back to the once Death Eater he lived with. Holding out one of the mugs, he stood waiting for Severus to take them from him. After a few more moments of rubbing his pained arm, Severus took the cup briskly and reclined against the bed, eyes watching Remus steadily. Unsure of what Severus was looking for in him, Remus carefully climbed on the bed and raised the mug to is lips.

"Where were you yesterday?" Severus asked, eyes still locked on the other man. Remus swallowed, tension making his neck stiffen at the question.

"What do you mean, Severus?" he asked, wondering if it was really the harmless question it appeared to be or if it was a trap of some kind.

"Yesterday afternoon. I came home earlier and you weren't here."

Shaking his head, Remus turned to look at Severus, trying to read him. What was with the sudden possessiveness? Was he not even allowed to leave the loft now? He shifted, resting more of his slight weight onto his other leg and pulled the comforter around his lower body, making somewhat of a nest around himself.

"I was out, that's all, Sev. Don't worry so much about it. How was I supposed to know you'd be home early? If I had, I might have had a surprise waiting for you..." he said in a low voice as he curled closer around the potions master, implying that it would have been a surprise Severus would have enjoyed. He jerked back in sudden pain as he felt his chest begin to burn. Looking down in horror, he saw the hot tea that had been in Severus' hand spilled across his own body, soaking his clothes and leaving painful red welts where it touched.

"Bloody hell Severus, what was that for?" he demanded, pulling the still hot shirt over his head to get it off.

"Don't fucking lie to me, Remus. I can't stand it when you do that."

"Jesus!" Remus cried, still trying to wipe off the tea that was turning his chest red. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I read your Owl, Remus," Severus hissed, holding up the envelope for the other man to see. Blinking at it, Remus noticed that he did not recognize the handwriting.

"Fuck, Severus. I haven't even read that yet! And what are you doing going through my mail anyway?" Remus asked, pain making his voice tight.

"It's from Molly. She wants you to go with her to the Black's house and help her de-hex it. Why would she ask you to help her, eh?" Severus demanded, shaking the envelope violently, almost tearing it.

"We were friends, Severus! She probably just wants me to go and help her because Sirius and I haven't seen each other in 12 years."

"Haven't you?" the dark haired man demanded, eyes still burning.

"No! Merlin Severus, what is wrong with you?" Remus asked, curling into himself, trying to nurse his fresh burns but failing.

Severus blinked, seeming to realize just how much pain Remus was in. Dropping his mug, he moved to touch Remus' chest tenderly. "Oh Remus, I am sorry. I didn't... I just thought you'd been with Black and lost it..."

Wincing away from the touches, Remus looked up to see the hurt painted on his lovers face. He hadn't meant to do it, it was just a reaction. Already starting to forgive it, Remus shook his head.

"Why are you so worried about it anyway, Severus?" he asked, letting the other man use a cooling charm on his skin to ease the pain that was still blooming there.

"You were together so long, I just can't stand the idea of his looking at you, touching you..." Severus replied, voice shaking with anger. It was so rare for Remus to see the other man lose his cool exterior that he was a little frightened by it. Severus was afraid of losing him. The blond blinked back tears and leaned into Severus' touches.

"Sev, it's over. It's been over for years. I love_ you._ Not Sirius..."

"Don't..." Severus hissed, shaking some of his silky, dark hair out of place. "Don't say his name."

Remus nodded and laid back as Severus rose to get a cool towel from the bathroom. Laying on his back on the bed, Remus pushed the book away from himself and sighed. He didn't have feelings for Sirius. Not anymore. He was with someone who loved him. Loved him enough to go crazy at the thought of his loss. What else could he want?


	3. Chapter 3

The Path of Thorns

A/N: This chapter will focus on Remus and Sirius trying to start to mend what was broken between them and Remus reflecting on Severus.

Disclaimer: Same as first chapter

Warnings: Same as first chapter

Three days after the spilled tea incident, Remus stood once again in the Blake house, this time by invitation. While it wasn't Sirius who invited him, Remus just didn't have the heart to tell Molly that he couldn't help her because he and Sirius had argued. Besides, since Severus agreed to let him go, Remus had joined Molly and now stood awkwardly in the entrance of the kitchen. Apparently, Sirius couldn't turn her down either because he was the one who let the scarred werewolf in. Now, Sirius lay curled up in his favorite lounge chair watching Molly bustle about and Remus follow her from room to room. When Sirius had offered to help, Molly quickly shot down the offer, saying he just got out of prison and that he needed his rest.

Sirius looked better today than he had only a few before. He was in new, clean muggle clothes (donated by Arthur no doubt) and his faded dark locks were pulled back by a piece of rope so that his face was clean and uncovered. Although the clothes were big on him and hid his protruding bones, Sirius still looked far too frail to be real. But, Molly was doing everything she could to remedy that.

Remus ducked to the side as one of the plump ladies enchanted dishes drifted past him, this time holding a bowl of egg salad to land lightly in Sirius' lap. This had been going on the four hours Remus had been at the house and he shook his head in wonder. Molly had packed enough food to feed a small army and she seemed quite intent on forcing all of it down Sirius' throat before the day was out.

"Molly, really, I'm not hungry..." Sirius grumbled, placing the bowl on the coffee table in front of him.

"Nonsense. You're skin and bones, Sirius. You should eat as much as you can, just until I can fill your cupboards with something real to nourish you with. Goodness, all thats in this house is liqueur and rice. You need protein too you know," she called, not looking at him. From the corner of his eye, Remus saw Sirius roll his eyes and poke at the bowl before him.

"I'm not one of your sons Molly, I can feed myself."

With a huff, she turned and glared at the lanky man curled in the chair.

"Oh really? And just how are you going to do that when you can't even leave here, eh?" she folded her arms under her breasts and scowled. "You don't even have a working ice box. This one is so full of hexes I'm not even sure it's salvageable," she said, eyeing the object in question with a look of distrust.

Sirius rolled his eyes again and looked at Remus as if to say, 'Can you believe this woman?'

A little surprised that Sirius had actually looked at him, Remus shook his head in answer. Sirius smiled softy, unconsciously, and took a small bite from the bowl. He kept his eyes on Remus and a thought seemed to spark in his mind. Craning his neck to yell to Molly, he picked up the bowl in one hand.

"Why don't you force this stuff on Remus? He's no better off than me!"

Startled to suddenly have Molly's attentions turned to him, Remus stood motionless as she poked and probed him with her little hands, as if evaluating him. As she did so, a critical look on her face, Remus glared over her to Sirius who had what looked like his old satisfied smirk on his lips. Taking Molly by the hands, Remus gently pulled them away from himself.

"Molly, I am fine. Sirius was only kidding," he soothed. It didn't seem to work and, being a mother of seven, Molly seemed to think she knew what was better for Remus than he did.

"Honestly, both of you are grown men and neither one of you knows how to keep yourselves healthy?" she grumbled. "Sirius is right, Remus. You really have gotten rather scrawny the past few weeks."

Turning on her heel, she stormed back into where she had put the food and Remus turned to Sirius.

"Thanks a lot," he growled, running a hand through his greying hair. It was one thing to have Severus fuss over him, but to be treated like a child by one of his friends was just embarrassing. Sirius grinned at him as he took a spoonful of the salad and raised it to his lips.

"Cheers," he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

After being forcefully seated on the sofa by Molly (who was stronger than she looked, Remus might add,) and having his own dish of fruits, cheeses, meat, and bread placed on his lap, Remus leaned back and took a tentative nibble. It was good, he'd admit that, but he was still embarrassed to be in such a ridiculous situation. Across the room he saw Molly looking troubled by something or other and decided he should help. Striding over to her, Remus bent to look in one of her carpet bags.

"What's wrong, Molly?"

"Oh, nothing, I just forgot one of my old books. I really should have known to bring it, since I never was very good at herbology..." she sighed, pointing in the direction of a hugely overgrown plant that writhed and hissed in the old study. Remus drew back from it, eyeing the little vines that looked as though they had eyes on them as they slithered closer.

"Molly, that can be taken care of later..." he assured her.

"No no no, it can't Remus. The blasted thing has already grabbed two garden gnomes through the break in that window and I just don't know what it'll do if it keeps growing like this.." she said. "I have to go back to the Burrow and see if I can't dig up my old text. Maybe one of the boys still has his, I'll just have to dig around for it."

"Molly, I can run and get you a new book if that's what you need," Remus started to say. He was cut short by her waving her little hands to shush him.

"No, I'll get it. You and Sirius haven't seen each other in so long, I don't want to interrupt your time together."

Remus didn't have it in him to tell her that an interruption would be appreciated. She seemed so intent on reuniting the old friends that he thought it might damage her in some way to know that for all her efforts, the two of them were not on good terms.

"Listen, I'll be right back," she said, digging around her little purse for a list. "These are the rooms that are absolutely unsafe to go in, so stay clear, alright?" she asked, eyes watching him as he read what she had written.

"Of course, Molly."

With a little smile, she turned and apperated away, presumably back to the Burrow. Taking a deep breath, Remus returned the the living room where Sirius was still perched on the chair, mixing the salad with his spoon. He looked up as Remus passed him and cleared his throat.

"Molly gone?"

"For a while, yes."

Relief seemed to wash of Sirius and he stood, heading to the kitchen and dumped what was left of the egg salad into the sink. "Thank God," he mumbled. "Don't know what she's trying to do to me."

Remus took another small bite of his own food and watched as Sirius returned with a bottle of Jameson Irish Whiskey in his hand. Remus raised his eyebrows at the sight of it as Sirius brought it in and set it down on the table.

"Sirius, it's only one in the afternoon."

"And? It's the perfect time to drink. Molly won't let me even touch this stuff when she's here, thinks it'll kill me or something," Sirius grumbled, a few loose strands of hair falling into his face as he struggled to open the bottle. Once he had it opened, he took a long swig of the vile stuff and chased it with the cup of carrot juice Molly had given him earlier.

Remus watched, astounded. He would have thought 12 years in prison would hurt someone's ability to drink so heavily, but apparently, he'd been wrong. As he he watched, Sirius took another long swollow and offered the bottle to Remus.

"Want a drink? Er, if you don't like whiskey there's wine in the cellar too but I don't know if I'd go down there."

Remus shook his head. He hadn't drunk much of anything since he and Severus had moved in together. Severus had little tolerance and since Remus had spent the better part of three years lost in the bottom of a bottle after Sirius was taken, he rarely touched the stuff anymore. Actually, now that he thought about it, that was how he and Severus had started dating.

He was drunk again at the Three Broomsticks and Severus had been in there, celebrating his new employment at Hogwarts. Since Remus could barely walk, Severus had been kind enough to rent him a room for the night to sleep it off. When Remus woke the next day, Severus was still asleep in a chair next to him. After that, Remus had apologized for being such a bother to the other man and attempted to leave, but Severus had stopped him. Together, they had worked on weaning Remus off the drink. Severus had even held him when he cried out for Sirius, James, Lily and Peter. It was only with the potions master's help that Remus had not poisoned himself to death with the alcohol.

Now, looking at Sirius who was still offering him the bottle, Remus shook his head again.

"Come on, Remus. When was the last time we had a drink together?" Sirius asked, bringing it once again to his own lips.

"Twelve years ago..."

"Exactly. Come on. For old times sake, Remmy..." Sirius said, holding it out once more.

Hesitantly, Remus took it from the other man's hand, fingers brushing, and raised it to his lips. It burned it's way down his throat and for a second, Remus thought he would vomit. But once the first gulp was down, the rest became easier.

As the two old friends waited for Molly to return they drank and talked. Remus talked about being a teacher, his mother's death, and how he'd changed. Sirius spoke of what happened the night James and Lily died, how he escaped from the hell he was in, and how he found Harry. Somehow, they both ended up sitting on the floor, passing the bottle back and forth until it was nearly three quarters of the way gone.

Sirius laughed, color from the liqueur making his face glow. Remus looked at him and couldn't remember why he was laughing. The scarred man smiled and leaned back so that he was resting against the sofa he'd climbed off of. He closed his eyes, thinking. It wasn't as terrible as he'd thought. Sirius didn't hate him after all. Maybe...maybe he had a shot at having his old friend back again...

As he thought it, he felt a weight lean against him, half covering him. Opening his eyes fuzzily, he saw Sirius leaning over him, lips slightly parted. Breath catching, Remus put his hands on Sirius' arms, as if to push him away. But looking up through drunken eyes, Remus saw the young man he'd loved so long ago. The look on Sirius' face was the one he'd seen only a few days ago, when he'd shut the door on Remus. It was a look of wanting. How could he have not recognized it before? For the first time in years, Remus felt that part in his heart that was reserved for Sirius and Sirius only, come to life.

Slowly, the grey eyed man above Remus lowered himself, touching his lips against the wolf's lightly. A wave of guilty pleasure washed through Remus and he lifted himself to meet that kiss, the kiss he hadn't felt in so long. Oh how he'd missed his. Laying with Sirius on the floor, kissing, touching. It felt so different from Severus' kisses...

Oh God, Severus...!

With a quick jerk, Remus pulled away from the other man, guilt washing over him. This was exactly why Severus hadn't wanted him to see Sirius again. He knew something like this would happen, and now it had. With a rough push, Remus detached Sirius from him and the blond stumbled to his feet.

A look of surprise was painted on Sirius' face as Remus hurried to move away from him.

"What's wrong, Moons?" he asked, sitting up to get a better look at the blond.

"Oh God Sirius... I can't. I just can't do this..." Remus gasped, touching his chest in pain. An anxiety attack was not what Remus needed right now, but his body did not listen.

"Why? Was it too soon...?"

Pain filling his face, Remus shook his head.

"Sirius... I'm with someone else. I'm in love with someone else now..."


	4. Chapter 4

The Path of Thorns

A/N: This chapter examines how Sirius reacts to Remus telling him who is lover is. Remus asks Severus for forgiveness.

Disclaimer: Same as always

Warnings: Same as always

"What do you mean, Remus? Who are you in love with now? I thought you guys mated for life or something," Sirius said, pulling himself to his feet, discarding the bottle of whiskey on the table.

Indignity, Remus turned away from from the man he'd been kissing only moments before. Pulling his robes closed tightly around himself and glanced over his shoulder. "That's wolves, you idiot, not werewolves..." he murmured, running a hand through his thick hair.

Sirius shrugged and moved to stand behind the shorter man, close enough to wrap his arms around him but not doing so. "Remus... I still love you. I tried to hate you for abandoning me but,"

Remus cut him short. "You're drunk, Sirius. You're just remembering what we used to have, not what we are now." Even as he said it, Remus wondered if it was true. He'd heard that alcohol brought out people's true feelings... But he also knew from experience that it was nicer to live in the past when everything was good than to be in a present where everything you once held dear was gone. Turning sharply and coming nose to nose with Sirius, he frowned.

"Sober up before you try to talk to me about love, alright Sirius?"

"I'm not drunk, Moons. Who are you with now? I can make you forget about him." Sirius leaned close, lips hovering just above Remus'. In a low whisper he spoke again. "I know what you like... I was with you for years, Remus. I know that birth mark on your thigh is most sensitive when you've been jogging. I know when I kiss it, you shudder every time..." He breathed in the smell of Remus and smiled. "I know how you got every scar on your body Remmy. I was there for most of them."

Remus let Sirius speak, let the memories flood back to him. He felt Sirius' hot breath against his face and smelled the whiskey there. Slowly, he stepped away.

"You're not the only one who knows those things anymore, Sirius. I was with you for five years. I've been with Severus for nine."

As soon as he said it, he regretted it. Sirius jerked back as if he'd been hit.

"Snape? You're with that slimy git? Why? _How?_" Sirius demanded, disgust playing on his face. "He's a fucking Death Eater, Remus. You abandoned me because you _thought_ I was. He's been fucking proven as one!"

Remus fumed as Sirius spoke. "Shut up Sirius! You don't even know him!"

"Don't know him? Fuck, Remus! I was in Azkaban for 12 years! I heard his allies howl for him to be thrown in with them!" Sirius shook his head, angry eyes glaring at Remus from behind his hair. "Oh, and how they mocked me. I was imprisoned for a crime I did not commit while he walked free and guilty of thousands just because Dumbledor put in a good word for him! Well what about me, eh? Why didn't Dumbledor save me, huh?" Sirius demanded, moving close to Remus, eyes blazing from the drink and from his anger.

Remus shook his head, truly at a loss of words.

"I don't know why that happened to you, Sirius. I am sorry, but I'm not the one who put you there and I could do nothing to get you out. The word of a lycanthrope means nothing to our kind..."

"Remus... I still want you. In my life, in my bed... Please tell me you don't really love that murderer," Sirius pleaded, reaching for the other man.

Struggling to find an answer, Remus just stepped back and looked at the other man. He must have taken too long to find the words he needed because Sirius turned from him and hunched his shoulders. Remus wanted to apoligize, to be forgiven. He'd thought Sirius was gone forever and he'd moved on, just as everyone told him to. If he could take it back, would he?

"I have to go, Sirius..." he said, moving past the other man to head for the door.

"Yeah. Go back to him. Go back to your life. I just want you to know that while you were 'moving on' and all that... that I thought only of you. That I tried so hard to stay alive in that place because I thought that if I ever got out... You'd be waiting for me."

Upon hearing those words, Remus felt the first sting in his nose from the tears that would soon follow. He took a deep breath and pushed the door open, spilling himself into the bright afternoon as the first tears found their way to his eyes.

That night when he saw Severus again, Remus had dinner waiting for him. Remus had gone over what he would tell Severus in his head at least a thousand times by then and even now, when he prepared himself to do so, he could not bring the words to leave his mouth. Sitting across the table from him, Severus sipped his water, waiting for his French Onion soup to cool. Remus watched him and felt ashamed. Apparently sensing Remus' discomfort, Severus looked up.

"Something wrong, Remus?" the raven haired man asked, setting his glass down and folding his hands on the table.

Remus took a breath, trying to calm himself. He just had to tell Severus. He knew he could keep the truth from him, but their entire relationship was based on trust. Remus knew Severus wouldn't keep anything from him and if Remus repaid him with lies, he'd never be able to live with himself. Clearing his throat, Remus spoke the words he'd be rehearsing all day.

"I actually have to talk to you about something, Severus..."

"About what, Remus?" Severus asked, eyes locked on his lover. "Things not go so well with Black?"

"Actually... there's something I have to tell you about seeing Siri...Black."

Across the table, he saw Severus clench his hands together around the stem of his glass, tension building in his shoulders. Nervous now about telling him exactly what happened, Remus lowered his gaze and spoke very softly.

"Black and I...we kissed."

Not even a second of silence passed before Remus heard the breaking of glass and he looked up in fear. For a second, his mind couldn't comprehend what his eyes were seeing. There was blood all over the white tablecloth that covered where Severus sat. The glass he had been holding was broken and the shards were impaling his hand, causing his blood to rush out of the appendage. Panicking, Remus rushed to Severus' side and kneeled next to him, taking the bleeding limb into his hands.

"Oh God, Severus. Are you alright?" he asked, trying to clean away some of the blood with a napkin.

"Do I look like I'm alright, Remus?" he snarled, yanking his hand away. "You fucking _kissed_ Black. You...fucking...kissed him," Severus growled, visibly shaking with rage.

"Severus, I am so sorry...We were talking and drinking and-"

"Drinking?" Severus barked, a laugh escaping his throat.

Still holding Severus' bleeding hand, Remus lowered himself, abating to Severus, trying to make himself look as un-threatening as he could. He'd never seen Severus so angry and it scared him a little. He knew if he had to, he could defend himself but he didn't want to raise his hand against the other man and so, he reacted the best way he could.

"I am so sorry, Severus," he whispered. "It will never happen again..."

"Oh won't it? I think it will."

Severus' shakes were becoming severely more violent and even as Remus tried to stop the bleeding, the dark haired man pulled away from him.

"Don't touch me, Remus. I don't want you touching me right now."

Sitting back on his heels, Remus let go of his lovers hands and turned his face up to look at him. The look he got in return was one of disgust and rage.

"Get away from me, Remus. I don't even want to look at you and if you stay there looking at me like that, I might hit you..."

Pulling away from Severus, Remus stood and started cleaning up the broken glass. There were so many tiny pieces, it looked like there would be little shards in the carpet for weeks... Remus picked up some of the larger pieces and wondered if he needed a box to put them in so they didn't puncture the trash bag as well as his lovers hand. He paused when Severus spoke again.

"Just go. I'll clean it up."

"Okay..." Remus murmured, leaving the glass where it lay. As he moved to leave the room, he glanced over his shoulder and saw Severus hunched over himself, clutching his bleeding hand to his chest, tears rolling down his cheeks.


End file.
